I don’t worry about anything any more, particularly money. I know with certainty from direct experience of testing and challenging the model that my Infinite I will provide everything I need for the experiences it wants me to have; and it always has. If it doesn’t, I can’t have those experiences since I have no power as a Player on this side of The Field to create anything for myself. I may not know where the money is coming from all the time, but I don’t need to know. I just know it will be there, often from sources I would never have guessed or planned for.
I live in total trust of my Infinite I. That’s easy for me to do because I’ve had so many experiences that have proven my Infinite I is fully trustworthy, that it loves and cares for me as its representative in the Human Game, and that it will create for me – and always has – exactly what it wants me to experience down to the smallest detail.
I have no personal needs or wants or desires that have to be fulfilled, although I do have my preferences as I explained previously. I never think about what I do not have, but only express my appreciation for what I do have. After all, our needs and wants are often based on judgment – needing and wanting something we don't have because we think it's “better” than what we've got. The truth is, as you let go of judgment and beliefs and opinions, the only thing you ever need and want is exactly what’s right in front of you.
I don’t plan for the future, and I doubt whether the past ever existed. I have no goals, no agendas, no objectives, nothing I feel I need to do or should do or have to do or must do. I live in the moment.
But I can still dream. Rudyard Kipling said it best in his poem, “If”….
“If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same.”
I have very minimal drama or conflict in my daily life and virtually no pain or suffering, with one exception I’ll speak about in a minute.
I am free of the world of dichotomies, which means I simply do not see “right” or “wrong,” “good” or “bad,” “better” or “worse,” good” or “evil” in my holographic experiences. Only occasionally, when I still need to process some lingering layer of ego in my cocoon, I might judge something “out there” that I encounter; and I trust my Infinite I will create holograms for me in order to see those judgments and process them, so I don’t have to go looking for anything. But it’s been a long time now since any of those experiences of any consequence have appeared.
The vast majority of the time I see only perfection all around me – not only in the magnificent Earth Environment my Infinite I has created for me, but also in the wars, the violence, and the pain and suffering as well. After all, I know from my direct experiences of testing and challenging the model that none of it is real, but a game being played by consciousness, in consciousness, and for consciousness.
The way I relate to other people, to the world, and to myself is the way I have always wanted to relate. I have a wonderful family and many friends whom I love but am not attached to. I do not belong to any group, but I never feel alone or lonely.
I wake up every morning with excitement and curious anticipation to discover what holographic experiences my Infinite I has in store for me that day.
It’s such a relaxing way to live knowing I do not create the experiences I have, and not having to think I must do something, to make something happen. As long as my Infinite I wants me as its Player, I know from direct experience it will provide everything I need to survive, and I don’t have to be constantly striving to make ends meet; and it’s quite a load off to realize I have never done, and can never do anything “wrong” – that every reaction and response I have to every experience is valuable and wanted by my Infinite I, that no reaction or response is “right” or “wrong” or “better” than any other.
I marvel every day at the beauty, the splendor, the magnificence of my life and my world. Here I am, on the Mediterranean coast of Spain, surrounded with water and trees and beach and blue sky and warmth… I am in constant awe of the hologram and its creator. Quite often I laugh, express my appreciation to my Infinite I, and wonder (rhetorically) how I got here, and about the holographic universe in general. How amazing that each Player has its own unique and independent holographic experience, and yet those individual holograms can interact so seamlessly and perfectly that we can give each other gifts. What a game!
I don’t meditate or pray, but try to stay fully awake and aware and observant of the ripples of the Universe going on around me, and follow them with my hands off the tiller. (How’s that for a koan?)
I observe – I “witness” – what goes on “out there” with other people, places, and things without getting involved or attached; and although I wish everyone else could experience the joy and peace and serenity of being I now enjoy, I know whatever experience they are having at the moment is perfect for them as well; and that any change in that experience will require a self-determined decision on their part about their reactions and responses, and there is nothing I “should” be doing other than “being the change” I would wish for them.
I have no fear of death and no fear of non-existence. Until proven otherwise, I assume I will cease to exist when this body dies, my role as a Player in the Game being over; and I’m very okay with that. It’s been quite a ride while it lasted. But I know all the feelings I ever had as a Player have been transmitted to my Infinite I through our connection and will forever remain part of its infinite nature.
I feel so relaxed and relieved not to be carrying around the layers of ego that were defining me and determining my identity. I no longer have to be the father, husband, ex-husband, son, lover, friend, coach, teacher, mentor, student, musician, politician, pilot, chiropractor, businessman, management consultant, jack-of-all-trades-and-master-of-none, and the list went on forever. Soon I will also let go of “scout” and be completely free to be me, which is nothing.
In short, life is even more than I ever imagined it could be, and who I am now is who I only hoped I could be for many, many years; and I haven’t yet finished my transformation into a butterfly, so perhaps there is more to come.
I know I have done my job well and fulfilled my purpose, because, most importantly, I now know who I am and my purpose for being here.
I am a Player for my Infinite I, created by my Infinite I to represent it in the Human Game; and I am totally honored and privileged to be that and nothing more. I have given up trying to be something I’m not. I call it “Serenity of Being” – that state of complete acceptance with total joy and appreciation for “Who I Am.” - a "no-self."
from Chapter 20 of
Butterflies Are Free To Fly
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